10 tips to help replace routine with sexual intimacy

Rebuilding intimacy in the bedroom for a more exciting sex life begins with you tossing out the routine and replacing it with spontaneity- switching normal with variety.

Boredom is the one of the most common issue couples experience when it comes to keeping the flame alive in the bedroom. Often times, boredom occurs as a result of routine. The monotony of our daily lives can affect the things we give preference to in our sex lives. to the kind of sex we have.

Sometimes boredom hits when we least expect. It seems just like yesterday that you were in the honeymoon sex stage and today it seems like the drive for sex just disappeared without warning. As humans we crave variety, surprise and  spontaneity in our relationships and long term relationships can have opposite effect because routine and familiarity has taken place instead.

Rebuilding intimacy in the bedroom for a more exciting sex life begins with you tossing out the routine and replacing it with spontaneity- switching normal with variety. 

If you are committed to changing things in your relationship, we are too. Check out these 10 proven things you can try in bed to keep the spark intimate and intense.

1. Try new sex positions

This is a good place to begin if you want to break off the routine from your sex life and give intimacy a chance. Give that favorite sex position a break and explore something new. Without a little experimenting how would you know it you are missing out on something or not. Trying a new sex position does not mean it has to work, the experience may be awkward or fun and you may hate or love it. But, the shared experience will definitely build a connection and improve your intimacy. 

2. Speak their love language in the bedroom 

According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages and everyone speaks at least one. Knowing your partners love language can also translate to their sexual preferences. Speaking their love language in the bedroom can greatly improve your sexual life and increase intimacy. 


3. Play with sex toys 

Sex toys play a big role in relationships and most women have confessed that adding sex toys to their bedroom with their partners have better orgasms and tend to have better sex experiences. 

There are lots of options when it comes to adding toys to sex. So plan a toy trip together to discover a world of possibilities you probably didn’t know existed. Remember, sex toys are not a replacement for a partner and you shouldn’t be intimidated about that. 

4. Be spontaneous 

Routine may be a vibe killer but we can’t deny the fact that it’s part of our daily activities. So, find ways to make it fun instead. Give him a mind blowing blow job if he is working late from the house. Make if more intense by asking him not to stop working while you drive him nuts- not literally. Have a quickie while preparing a meal in the kitchen. Driving out together? Tease them while they drive. You may want to watch the road so you don’t have an accident. It’s all about intimacy.

5. Share your desires and fantasies 

Thinking of new things to do together? Ask your partner to share their fantasies with you. However, do not expect your partner to readily share your fantasies with you immediately. Some persons are ashamed of their fantasies and have been made to believe it’s wrong or to have one. If this happens, first work towards making your relationship a safe space for your partner. Not sure how to go about it?  Fill out lists online with your partner and compare your answers. Who knows? You may get enough ideas to last you a long time. 

6. Try rough sex

You don’t have to be an expert in BDSM to try out rough but consensual sex. Rough sex has now become more acceptable with the definition open to interpretation. Rough sex should be defined by both partners before they begin and it can either be physical or verbal.  Physically it can include hair pulling, spanking, scratching, choking, biting, whipping and so on. Verbal rough play can begin with dirty name calling: using terms like slut, bitch and so on. Always make sure consent is involved before getting started.


7. Discover the power of lubes

Lubes have moved from something for anal sex to becoming a must have for an exciting sex life. Don’t underestimate the power of lube, it can take sex from boring to super pleasurable. Be sure to get a high quality, body safe lube when shopping for lubes.

8. Try aphrodisiacs 

If you can eat your pleasure, would you say no? Aphrodisiac’s will improve your sexual experience tremendously. So don’t be shy about having one before sex with your partner and see how different the sex is. Aphrodisiacs is a great way to tap into your naughty and wild freak with your partner.

9. Wear what makes you sexy            

Wear outfits that make you feel sexy and desirable. It can be as simple as investing in a simple lingerie or night wear. Feeling confident can play a huge role for you and your partner in the bedroom. Toss out those boring wears, add more costumes for bedroom confidence in the bedroom and rev up your intimacy.


10. Give your bedroom a break 

Sex doesn’t have to begin and end in the bedroom. Give that room a break and just explore your sex life. Sex out of the bedroom is one way to break the routine and be more spontaneous. So explore the kitchen sofa, chair, shower, stairs and everywhere you can think if that’s safe other than the bedroom. 

No matter the duration of your relationship, you can always give intimacy a chance. Live your best sex life with Mahogany.

About Author /

Lara is an erotic writer and modern day sex and relationship educator. Sensual, multifaceted and a reincarnated soul is how she describes herself. When she is not relieving her imaginations or taking vain selfies, she is on Instagram at Larasensations teaching how to own your pleasure.

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