sex questions

7 SEX RELATED QUESTIONS TO ASK a new PARTNER

The beginning of a relationship can be the sweetest and most delicate part because most couples are akin to walking on egg shells. For this reason, most people shy away from particular topics like sex from the beginning allowing it to take any course without knowing that this discussion is a must have.

Effective communication is paramount to a good relationship and knowing your partner encompasses everything from their likes, dislikes, sexual desires, preferences and sexual past. Don’t be too shy to talk about this, talking about matters like this can help the relationship start off on a good ground especially in matters of the bedroom.

People have diverse opinions when it comes to sex, hence the it is important to have certain sex discussions to know if your sexual views are compatible. Discussing certain related sex topics can help take off the pressure to please your partner and present a deeper understanding of your partner. 

Have a new partner? Here are seven sex related questions to get to know them.

  1. Define your relationship

This is the first and most important question when it comes to knowing if you and your partner are on the same page both emotionally and physically. It is important to define the terms of your relationship from the beginning. Is your relationship exclusive? Can you date others? Are you having friends with benefits situation? It’s important to define all of these from the beginning.

If your relationship is more emotional than physical you should consider your life goals and be certain they align. In the long run you may want to discuss other issues like if you both want children or if you both support the idea of a family. Ask all of these questions before getting yourself completely involved and committed.

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2. Sexual history

This is more than knowing their sexual partners. When was the last time they got tested? Whether you both plan on having skin to skin contact or not knowing their sexual history is as necessary as knowledge of their favorite food. Some STIs are asymptomatic and can be transmitted through exchange of saliva like herpes.

Having this discussion can be difficult so you can begin by telling them the last time you got tested and asking them if they have in recent times. You could both suggest getting tested together if you are yet to get one.

3. Safe sex and contraception

This is something you would like to consider in a sexual relationship, no matter the duration. At all times use precautions especially if your relationship is casual and not exclusive. If  they have a clean bill of health and you feel like tossing the protection don’t forget to have an alternative contraceptive. Post sex pills, birth control or IUD among a host of others are alternatives to choose from. 

4. Sexual health

This is more than knowing your sexual history and STIs status. Your sexual health are conductors that may affect your sex life in a way. Asking questions like if they have erectile dysfunction, low sperm count for the men and vaginismus for women. These things can give your partner a clearer view of how to handle certain issues sexually.

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5. Your fetishes and fantasies

Everyone has a fantasy and even though most persons are not as open as others when it comes to sharing their secrets. Keeping your sexual fantasies away from your partner can put a strain on your relationship and form a significant lack of your sexual fulfillment.

Lack of communication is unhealthy for relationships. Create a judge free zone where you actively express your fantasies. You both should sit down and craft a list of desires and fantasies you would be open to trying out in reality.

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6. Sexual Secrets

Most couples have sexual secrets that affect their relationships in the long run. Be open about secrets that may interfere with their sex life or relationship as a whole. Sexual trauma such as abuse or rape can affect your relationship. Imagine your partner not knowing a particular touch can trigger you and doing that. It can cause issues and put a strain on your relationship and sex life.

So talk about those triggers and seek counseling if there is a need to.

7. Do you mind pleasure toys

Do you like pleasure toys? These days most couples are becoming more open when it comes to the use of love toys in the bedroom. If you use love toys like vibrators on your own asking your partner how they feel about it can improve your sex life in the relationship. So if you want to introduce pleasure toys into your relationship, talking about it beforehand is important. So brace up and have that discussion with one another for a wonderful sexual experience.

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