7 Signs to help you Identify a Toxic Relationship

The novelty of a new relationship can hide some very ugly truths that eventually creeps in as the romance washes off. What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

Women mostly have learnt to persevere and  stick around in bad situations. We race to patch up any signs that things may be going haywire. In this blind race, we fail to see the damage going on in our relationship, till it becomes irreparable and damage us too.

How do you identify a toxic relationship? How can you tell if you are living in a toxic environment? What are the traits of a toxic person?

Here are seven (7) signs psychologists say may help us identify an unhealthy relationship

Verbal abuse

This is one of the first red flags you should pay attention to! Usually it starts as small jabs and making fun of things important to you. This is the stage when the person is watching to see how you react to verbal abuse and how they affect you. Then it quickly moves on to ridicule, putting you down in private or in public, shutting you up when you share your opinions etc

Lies and secrecy

The mental torture aside, no relationship can survive outside of trust. Lies and secrecy creates a gap between partners and usually lead to manic behaviors of snooping through their phones, computers and private things to discover the truth. If you find yourself constantly on edge around them and always questioning their motives, that relationship is bad for your mental health.

Jealousy and Insecurity

This directly leads from a loss of trust and frequent lying. When trust is gone from a relationship, that environment is quickly poisoned by acts of jealousy and unhealthy insecurities. Other times, people bring baggage from their previous relationships into a new one and may become unnecessarily jealous and constantly question your value or loyalty.

Self-centered and Controlling

A self-centered person will never see how they hurt you or own up to their flaws or faults. They will always shift the blame for everything that goes wrong in your relationship on to you. Added to being self-centered, a toxic person may seek to control you and control your relationship by all means. The want to be the center of your life and will always fight you for attention.

Threatens to leave

If they always threaten to leave after every fight or any rough patch in your relationship, know that this is a kind of power abuse. A manipulative person will always use this power to get you to do things you would otherwise not do. They will use this card to get their way and win every time.

Forced dependency

Most times, after spending a long time with someone, you naturally become dependent on each other and you want to get their input on everything. Some partners force this codependency by constantly criticizing anything you do without them till you begin to wait for their approval before you do anything. This forces you to depend on them

Physical Abuse

This is a major red flag that should never be ignored. Even with partners who are supportive, loving and caring. This type of abuse can include hitting, biting, scratching, slapping, kicking, punching, shoving, use of a weapon, or forced sex. Physical abuse often builds gradually, beginning with emotional abuse. A one-time incident could be a warning sign of future abuse. The only solution in these situations is to let go and leave as soon as possible.


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