7 tips to help a shy partner open up about sex
Relationships are amazing, you meet someone you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with and boom when the topic of sex comes up you get confused. Especially if you have a high libido with a shy partner in a society where the topic of sex is seen as something dirty.
How do you make a shy partner open up to you about sex?
Here are 7 proven tips to help a shy partner open up about sex.
- Keep an open mind
This is a major issue most couples experience. We live in a society where the topic of sex is condemned and seen as a dirty act. And with that in mind most people rethink the decision of opening up about how they feel or what their sexual desires are. To some, they have been made to believe that their desires are dirty, their bodies are unattractive and that even their kinks make them immoral.
A large percentage of people carry around sexual shame and are afraid of being judged and even your partner is not left out. So create a judge free zone and allow them open up be safe to open up to you.
2. Stop judging their masturbation habit
Unless your partner has a sexual habit that is detrimental to your relationship then I advise you stop judging if you see them masturbating. Let’s be reminded that the idea of understanding pleasure begins with having a relationship with your body. Everyone deserves a lone time for themselves and if your partner takes one once in a while do not make them feel like they are hurting your ego by doing so. The fact that they are using a pleasure toy doesn’t mean they want to have you replaced. Remember the first tip: keep an open mind.
Your partner’s relationship with their body is the core of their sexuality. The more they are in tune with what gets them solo, they more they will be ready to share and show you.
3. Choose an activity and make it sexual
Choosing a sexual activity outright may be difficult if your partner is shy about sex. So spend time together in your relationship, choose an activity you both enjoy doing and make it a sensual experience.
Do you like reading books? Try reading erotica together, listen to some steamy music and get cuddled up together. If you like dancing then take a break from the usual dance and just hold each other, staring into your eyes and dance. Create intimate moments from your regular activities. Northern Nights is one erotica book to get things heated in the bedroom.
4. Be open about your sexual needs
Let’s face it, no one wants to be with a person who keeps asking and doesn’t share their own sexual desires. A shy partner will not speak up about sex for fear of being judged because you never express the same feeling.
Start talking about the things you want to try, the kind of sex you want in your relationship and more. You making the first move may be all your shy partner has been waiting for.
5. Ask direct questions to know more about their desires
How many times have you blanked out when a guy asks you the “Tell me about yourself question”. That’s the same way your partner feels when you keep hammering them with the “What’s your fantasy question?” Remember that you are trying to get them to be more open about sex not write an essay.
If you have been doing this, then you should consider a different approach. Try Yes/No questions instead. “Would you be open to an idea of a threesome?” “I find the idea of a toe fetish so sexy, would you like to try it?” Questions like this are more direct and can lead to better conversations.
6. Do not pressure them into accepting your interests
When talking about your interests, do not make your partner feel pressured into accepting them, either to please you or make you happy.
Be subtle when sharing, do not bombard all of it in their faces to make them like it just because you do. They are not under any form of obligation to want your interests.
7. Give them a break from sex if they ask for it
Sex is amazing together but if one person needs a break from sex then you should give them. Remember that your libido may not match that of your partner. So, take breaks if needed if it helps you rejuvenate and have a better sex life.