8 KINKY SEX IDEAS FOR TOTAL BEGINNERS. (no 5 is a must)

Kinky as a sexual lifestyle has been met with mixed feelings. From being classified as a deviant behavior for messed up people to a sexual kink for abusive persons, the assumptions are endless. But, we can’t deny the fact that this community is growing and more people are identifying with the BDSM community. So, if you are here you must have an interest in BDSM or you are curious about it. You have read about it, you have maybe watched the life out of 50 shades of Grey or 365 DNI and you want to try it out.

However, before you jump to the idea of being the next Annastasia Steele there are certain things about kinky sex you should know about. kinky sex is often used in place of BDSM which is short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism). And it is more than the red room and whips as often displayed. Kinky sex is all shades of fun and is an interesting sexual kink both for you and your partner if you understand the theatrics. 

In other words, before starting any kinky play, it is important to educate yourself first to know what you like and would be interested in trying out. Kinky sex is very broad and just saying you are ready to explore anything that comes your way may get you hurt instead. 

Now that you have defined what you like, it is important to have the conversation with the person you hope to indulge in. Bring up the conversation in a context that is not related to the setting at ground. Maybe on a well relaxed evening, you could begin the conversation with “So babe, I wanted us to talk about something kind of exciting but dangerous. Do you mind us having this conversation after dinner this evening?” Having set the time and setting for the big conversation, you can both talk about what you expect from a kinky sex session. This is quite important because your partner may be into some heavy duty kinky like bondage gear, candle wax or bed restraints while your idea of kinky sex may be getting cuffed, light spanking or getting tied up.

With this settled, you should invest in your safe words. Here is why the safe word is one of the most important things to work on before trying BDSM. You can go with the common traffic words signs like red that indicates stop or yellow to show ready. Always use words that are not said often during sex.

READ UP- 3O SAFE WORD IDEAS TO CHOOSE FROM

One amazing thing about kinky sex is that it requires consent for every stage of play. Even with a trustworthy partner, you will want to take necessary precautions, because let’s face it; everyone gets carried away in the throes of passion. And you want to make sure the sex is safe by choosing a safe word. 

Here are 8 kinky sex fun activities for every beginner

1. TALK DIRTY

Do you like your partner using words to tease you? If you find the idea of being called daddy’s little bad girl or slut then by all means you should go ahead. Ask your partner to talk dirty to you. Dirty talk can be used by either a dominant or submissive so the roles can easily be switched based on preference. Dirty talk allows you to express your desires and fantasies in your own words. Through dirty talk you can create a visual picture of the things you want your partner to do to you with your consent of course. 

Let’s say for instance you have a fantasy of being tied up while your partner gives you steamy oral sex. You can ask your partner to tell you how much they want to do that to you and how they would like to do that to you. It’s a way of exploring and visualizing your fantasies before trying them out. It’s hotter relieving it through your partner’s eyes.

2. HAIR PULLING

If you are interested in kinky sex, chances are you have already experimented with some sort of hair pulling. When people are lost in the throes of passion, one thing they reach out for is the hair. This is a top level beginner tip for kinky explorers. It doesn’t require any prop, easy to begin with and you can moderate it to suit your needs at that point in time. You can be as gentle or rough as you like. 

However, do not go around pulling your partner’s hair unless it’s consensual and goes with the moment. Just because they like hair pulling doesn’t mean you have to pull their hair as you like without any warning.

3. LIGHT SPANKING

This would make the list on the top 5 common kink fantasy and light spanking is always a good place to begin while intensifying with props as you go along. You can begin with your hands and upping your flow with a flogger, whip or a paddle. 

News flash; spanking isn’t just restricted to your butt. Some people like to be spanked around their genitals. The excitement of the movement around the muscles close to the genitals can be sexually stimulating. When spanking, focus on the fleshy parts of the body. Avoid the face and subtle skin areas.

4. TRY BLINDFOLDS

Sensory deprivation is one of the most exciting ways to stimulate and heighten your senses while building sexual tension. Blindfolds work a lot because when you isolate stimuli from one sense it heightens the other senses. For instance, not being able to see due to a blindfold can help your ears perk up faster to your partner’s teasing voice, or the air of your partner’s breath on your skin which makes it more intense and sexually exciting. 

Choose a role and ask your partner to blindfold you or vice versa and tease and tantalize them while you have them guessing what is coming next while you are at it. You can begin with toe kisses all the way to their thighs, whispering dirty words into their ears, tickling their erogenous zones with a feather while alternating your touch. Keep them guessing what comes next. 

You can invest in a quality blindfold like the soft satin bondage kit or improvise with the silk of your bathrobe or sleeping mask.

5. EXPERIMENT WITH ORGASM CONTROL

Known as edging when it involves a partner with a penis, orgasm control is an exciting form of power and pleasure control when trying kinky sex. Orgasm control is bringing someone to the peak of orgasm and stopping abruptly for about 30 seconds before stimulating again. The delayed gratification makes the end result of the sex more pleasurable and orgasms more intense. Power play is important in kinky play and orgasm control gives that.

Orgasm control is you relinquishing control to your partner to bring you to climax using either a toy or their hands and stopping before you do. Experiment with this until you can’t take it any longer and let them help you cross the finish line. Get ready for an intense body shattering orgasm after this.

6. USE BED RESTRAINTS

If you are ready for some intense kinky sex beginner play then add some restraints to your collection. Under the bed restraints make it easier for you to tie down your partner without having any degree in knot tying. Under bed restraints are easy to use, allow for quick release when done and can hold your partner in firmly during play at that point in time. 

Restrain your partner with the pipe dream wraparound matress while giving them the steamiest oral sex ever. Whatever role you may want to indulge in, by all means do so. 

7. TRY CLOTHESPINS

If you want to experiment with your pain threshold then clothespins are a good way to explore. You can begin with using them on your nipples, stomach and inner thighs as you explore to know what turns you on.

Clothespins can be exciting because blood flow is restricted during wear leading to the most intense sensations available during removal. The removal process can bring along with it lots of intense pain which is why we advise focusing on other activities that can bring about pleasure during the process. 

Erotic distraction is an accepted device when trying out clothespin. Play with her clitoris, stimulate her other erogenous zones, and include stimulation with sex toys to make the feeling varied.

You can experiment with home clothespins or invest in toys like the nipple clamps for intense play.

8. TRY HANDCUFFS

Handcuffs are popular, user friendly and easy to use. Handcuffs are an option for orgasm denial and are a great alternative for ropes especially if your rope tying skills are really bad. With handcuffs you can explore various degrees of restrictive love play. Your partner is unable to touch themselves and this relinquishes complete control to you.

You can begin with some comfortable faux leather cuffs or switch up to an iron pair

Remember to choose your safety first when trying out Kinky sex for the first time. Communicate, choose a memorable safe word and invest in quality sex props. Live your best sex life, would you? Shop.mahogany.ng for more.