8 ways to build your confidence in the bedroom

My favorite line from Lil Wayne’s Drop the World song is “Confidence is a stain they can’t wipe off” and every time I listen to that I cannot agree better. Confidence is one of the sexiest traits that anyone can possess and it is connected to so every aspect of our lives most especially our sexuality and how we behave.

Building self-confidence is not something that happens overnight. Sexuality in the context of human behavior is deeply rooted in one’s physical , emotional and mental balance. It affects our everyday decisions consciously or unconsciously.


Sex is the link that connects all of our deepest longings for pleasure, for desire and for acceptance. Because we live in a society that has tagged sex and pleasure as dirty, bad, sinful and so on. We tend to internalize these messages and accept it hence affecting the way we view ourselves during sex and the image we have of it.  However, those images and messages do not have to stay with us forever.

Here are eight ways you can build your self confidence

  1. Begin with yourself

Everyone talks about gaining confidence in the bedroom without fully realizing that it begins out of the bedroom. One way to be sexually confident is by being confident with yourself.  Take a look at yourself in front of a mirror naked and fully take in your body, every part of it. The parts you hate more than the other and the parts you love, take everything in. It may not happen immediately but make it a routine and everyday learn to accept a body part . You don’t need to be sexy before you love every part of you.

The more self-confidence you have outside the bedroom, the more likely is it to spill into your bedroom because a more relaxed you will be ready to allow their sexual side come to play.

2. Communicate with your partner

Honestly, one reason heterosexual women have fewer orgasms than their partners are because they fail to communicate with their partners. Don’t be afraid of saying what you want during sex and if you find yourself afraid of communicating you should ask yourself why. Talk about all kinds of things like your sexual desire, accelerators and brakes, lubes, sex toys and so on. Be open, listen to each other’s’ suggestion without feeling pressured to do what you are not comfortable with. If you do not know how to begin, you can start by playing games, ask questions and slowly allow yourselves feel comfortable enough to communicate with each other. Express yourself better.


3. Love yourself

Love yourself has been tagged one of the most cliché 0ver used phrases but nothing changes it’s effectiveness.  The first relationship begins with yourself and until you completely master and take charge of that, other relationships regardless of the type will suffer. So take the time to finally love and accept yourself.

4. Hop into bed with yourself

No one said this will be the complete solution to this but hopping into bed with yourself can improve your sexual  confidence. Use sex toys for better mastery and more knowledge of your body.


5. Watch your self-talk

Whatever you feel about yourself is first thought of in the mind. It is common for one to get carried away sometimes with their thought. But, notice your inner dialogue with yourself and the things you think of yourself especially during lovemaking. Are you self-critical about how your body looks like, how it feels or smells?  Sometimes men pressure themselves to keep an erection while women race towards orgasm every time rather than enjoy the build-up.

It is time to stop. Replace those critical thoughts with positive thoughts; remind yourself that everything is okay and that you are always enough

6. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is being present in the moment without drifting and any form of judgement. When you bring mindfulness to the bedroom you find it easier accepting yourself without focusing on your imperfections. It is enjoying sexual pleasure, being there in the moment truly confident in your own skin.

7. Avoid comparing your body with the media

The universe contains over seven billion people with different body types and definition of sexiness. Stop judging your body based on what is shown only on the media. No one is perfect and the definition of perfect is only an illusion to others. You are perfect to someone and until you believe that, you would find it difficult believing that and allowing yourself feel fully confident.


8. Wear what you feel good in

Wear what you feel good in. Wearing outfits that make you feel like the person of your dreams is 10x a confidence booster. If you feel like a badass in jeans, then wear jean. If you like the curve of your butt in lingerie, definitely wear it more often. Don’t allow anyone put a brake on your self image.

Today, consciously choose yourself first, wear confidence proudly and watch how it rubs off on you in the bedroom. CLICK HERE to visit the store at shop.mahogany.ng to browse through items guaranteed to help give your confidence a booster.

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