11 May 30 safe words you can use during sex
Whether you are new or old to BDSM, you must have heard people talk about having a safe word, almost like you cannot enjoy kinky sex without it. If you are reading this, you may be wondering “what’s the fuss about having a safe word? And do I need one to enjoy kinky sex?” Let me tell you about it.
What are safe words?
A safe word is a code word chosen together by sexual partners that indicates that one partner would like to pause or stop the sexual activity when it becomes too intense, or if the sexual activity crosses their sexual boundaries. Safe words can also be signals that can be used in place of words especially if gagged.
Must you have a safe word?
YES. Sex play during BDSM can be powerful and addictive especially if things get out of control with your partner. It is the best way to ensure there is a control over maximizing pleasure without either person getting hurt.
Moreover engaging in any activity that pushes you out of your sexual comfort zone, either BDSM, Role play, Wax play and so on requires a form of control for it, hence the birth of safe words. Even if you feel like you may not use it, creating one is still important.
Choosing a safe word
How do you come up with safe words and why is everyone against using the most obvious word “STOP” or “NO” since they communicate the message. Using STOP during sex can communicate mixed signals, as you can say stop and pull your partner closer which can pass across a mixed message. Even if you mean STOP, you don’t want your partner saying he was confused about your intended message so choosing a safe word that clearly communicates what you mean at that point in time is necessary.
“My safe word is Blue balls, it sure works all the time because my partner always stops immediately he hears it” Nnenna says. Choose a safe word that is easy to remember and isn’t used all the time, plus one that can be tied to the moment. Humour can be used in choosing your safe word if that works for you.
When choosing safe words, use the traffic light system. Sex is about communication, so you need to communicate the process with your partner so they can know when they are going overboard or doing well. Safe words are not only for stopping the sex.
The Traffic Light Method
This is the most used safe word as each colour communicates to your partner what you are feeling.
Red- the stop signal
This means you want your partner to stop everything they are doing immediately. It may be because it is too much for you to handle or you no longer consent.
Yellow- slow down
Maybe you liked what they were doing until they suddenly went overboard. Yellow is a form of caution to reduce the pace. It can also mean I’m getting close to my limit. You can decide on its different connotations for you both.
Green- Keep going
Did they just blow your mind with a particular move? Use this word so they can continue with what they are doing.
The Personal Connection
You can choose a safe word based on something with a personal significance.
“When I wanted to choose a safe word with my boyfriend, I thought of Shawshank Grey because that’s the combination of two of our favourite movies so it made it easy to remember. “ Lisa .
You can choose a safe word based on hobbies, a place you both cannot forget, your favourite foods or drinks. It’s also sexy to tie it to your relationship, the place you both had your first kiss or your favourite hangout spots
This is also a popular choice for people. You can choose safe words based on fruits, foods or even places. Fruits are a popular choice; “Banana” “Pineapple” “Watermelon” and so on. Remember that any word that is unlikely to come up in a sexual situation is a good choice. Even Inanimate objects can suffice.
WHEN TO USE SAFE WORDS
You should use the safe word if at any point in time you feel dizzy, nauseous or unable to continue please use the safe word. If the sexual activity is becoming too extra for you: the flogging, spanking or choking, then feel free to use your safe word.
However you feel, feel free to communicate that to your partner, it does not make you weak.
However, do not abuse the safe words by using it as will just as a form of jest. Sex play is not something you should keep goofing around with, If you do that too often just for the fun of it, you may lose the trust during sex play. .
Having Difficulty in Choosing a Safe Word? Here Are 30 safe words to choose from
- Pineapple brakes
- Red stop
- Green coffee
- Mustard glass
- Pause banana
- Onions grip
- Tetanus shot
- Hogwarts blue
- Spider coke
- Blank cheque
- Check up
- Pink fridge
- Lagos boat
- Jumping jacks
- Cup shorts
- Blueberry pan
- Cooking clown
- Captain America
- Black spoon
- Mask blush
- Jumping rope
- Mango pencil
- Bag peaches
- Prison Cage
- Motorcycle horn
- Danfo red
- Incredible hulk
- Violet cream
- Virtual avenger
- Iron man
If you don’t think these are memorable, you can come up with your own safe words using any of the methods used above. Join https://switch.mahogany.ng/ the first Nigerian Social Media Platform for BDSM and Kink Community.
Have an exciting kinky journey