Intimate conversations aren’t just about pleasure. Talking about these topics help build a foundation for a better relationship as you will learn about each other and explore new things together,  while being on the same page.

These conversations ranges sexual health, frequency, exploring the unknowns and dealing with differences.

1. Talking about STIs and Birth Control is part of owning your sexual health

Be proactive, always. Your sexual health is important and should not be ignored. You and your partner should discuss your sexual history and get tested for STI’s.

It’s also worth getting past the discomfort to talk about health, particularly sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and birth control. Avoiding these vital conversations might be endangering your health and altering the future you’d hoped for.

Family planning and using birth control is also an important part of any pre-sex discussion. Trust me, nothing is more uncomfortable than dealing with an unplanned pregnancy before either of you are truly ready to become parents.

2. The turn-ons (and turn-offs) conversation

Discussing what gets you going and what turns you off might be difficult, but it’s necessary in navigating differences.  Relationship experts say perceived sexual compatibility can make or break a relationship. Maybe your partner has a secret fetish they haven’t shared with you or maybe you’ve been afraid to tell him you’re intimidated by how often he wants sex. Whatever your preferences, be as open and as non-judgmental as possible during the discussion

Additionally, let each other know when your tastes are evolving.


3.    The frequency conversation

When it comes to the frequency at which you get freaky, you have to be on the same page. What that means: “If he wants it every day and you want it once a month, that’s going to be a problem.” Partners should  work together to find the frequency that makes them feel most fulfilled.

4. Talk Fantasies, Fetishes, and Desires

Never underestimate your lover’s bedroom interests and before you spring up surprises, have a talk with your partner about fantasies, fetishes or desires.

Topics range from Sex toys, Threesomes, BDSM, Role Play, Anal sex, Quickies etc. Let them know your preferences and what you are unwilling to try.

If one of you is passionate about trying something and the other is not on the same page, identify where this desire comes from and brainstorm a creative compromise.


5.  Define boundaries and explain what cheating means to you.

Don’t wait until something goes wrong to define what behavior won’t be tolerated. Be open about what is acceptable and what is not in your relationship.

Don’t forget to consider tech: Will you know each other’s phone or email passwords? Will you be friends still be friends with your exes on social media?


These conversations will help in bridging the gap and overcoming problems in your sex life.

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