Dear Mahogany,
I am in a dilemma. My fiance and I just started having sex for some months back now. Prior to that, we have been celibate although we still perform oral sex apart from penetration, since he said he is afraid of getting me pregnant when we are not ready to get married. But, since we started having normal sex, my boyfriend doesn’t cum no matter how long we have sex. But, whenever I give him oral sex, he cums. What do I do. I want us to have children too when we get married. Does this mean he doesn’t enjoy sex with me?
Sharon 27.

Dear Sharon,
Thanks for reaching out to us. I understand that this can be frustrating especially if you have to engage in oral sex for long before he cums. First, I think your boyfriend’s lack of release during penetrative sex may be psychological. Considering the fact that he may be scared of you getting pregnant before your wedding. He may be putting in extra effort not to release in you especially if you are having unprotected sex.
Alternatively, if you are using condoms this may also be an issue. Most men find it difficult enjoying sex when wearing a rubber and sex becomes pleasurable only when there is a direct skin contact. Some men find it difficult enjoying sex when they over think or are too self-conscious as the case may be. I suggest you try doing these with him:
• Communicate with him about how his lack of ejaculation during penetrative sex makes you feel. The toll it may take on your sex life in the nearest future, since oral sex alone cannot give you the babies you desire.
• During oral sex, build up the pleasure and have him finish inside of your vagina instead of your mouth.
I hope these two tips goes a long way in solving your problem. If it persists, you both should consider seeing a sex therapist together.

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