how do i get my boyfriend to give me head?

Dear Mahogany,

I will get straight to the point. How do I get my boyfriend to give me head? I give him head but he never returns the favour. I love oral sex too.


Dear Anonymous,

 Hi, thank you for reaching out. Oral sex is a big deal to most women, myself inclusive because we see it as an intimate sexual act of expressing love. But, some guys do not like the thought of going down on a woman due to personal, religious or cultural beliefs. For instance in Otukpa, Benue state , the Northern part of Nigeria it is considered a taboo for men to give oral sex and while some men have defied this, some others hold strongly to this belief.

First, ask your partner why he doesn’t return the favour and hear what he has to say. And tell him in plain language how much you want him to go down on you and how you feel about oral sex. If oral sex is your major foreplay language, let him know how much it turns you on. My experience talking with a lot of guys about oral sex most men are scared of the “smell” down there. And if your boyfriend is one of them, reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. Instead reassure him that it would be an enjoyable experience for him too.

If oral sex makes you wild, tell him in clear terms how freaky and turned on you get with oral sex. Describe and show him how it is done if he doesn’t know how to begin.


Once he is willing you try, there are some simple tips for a more pleasurable experience.

  • Make sure you are well groomed. It would be a turn off if he stops every now and then to just take off pubic hair off his mouth. Plus a trimmed vagina is a sight to behold.
  • Choose friendly positions that make it easy for him. Have him lie on his back and sit on his face, here you can control the pace and movement.
  • Give vocal cues while he is at it. If he is doing it the right way, don’t hold back your moans. Use your words to boost his ego and guide him to the right direction “Yes, right there. You are so good babe” is a positive reinforcement and watch him go over the edge to please you.

It always begins with communication so if you have not done this, start here. If your boyfriend still refuses to go down on you for his selfish reasons, then you can hold back oral sex from him. I don’t always subscribe to this tactic but some women have sworn that it works wonders. I hope this helps. I can’t wait for feedback from you.

Love as always,                                                       


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About Author /

Lara is an erotic writer and modern day sex and relationship educator. Sensual, multifaceted and a reincarnated soul is how she describes herself. When she is not relieving her imaginations or taking vain selfies, she is on Instagram at Larasensations teaching how to own your pleasure.

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