Dear Mahogany, is he keeping me because I am a virgin?

I am a 23 years old lady keeping her virginity for the right man. I have a boyfriend I really love and I thought loved me too, but now I am not sure. We started dating when I clocked 20.  I told him I am a virgin and I am keeping my virginity for my husband. At first he refused to believe me, he asked me to prove my claim, so we went to the hospital and I carried out some test to help support my claim. It was only when the test result showed that I am a virgin before he believed me.

Since then, he has treated me with nothing but love, he show me off to his friends and family, but he avoids any form of intimacy with me. He avoids kissing me, the closest we have gotten to intimacy is a hug. Recently I was with his phone and I came across a message he and his best friend had been exchanging. In the message, he was telling his best friend that he plans on asking me to marry him, and the reason why he has chosen me over the other two girls he has been dating for the past two years is because I am a virgin. He said I was still innocent and soft, unlike the other girls who had past their prime.

At first I was shocked, how could he have been dating 2 other girls for the past 2 years? We just celebrated our 3 years anniversary. Secondly, from the content of his message, he seems like he is only going to ask me to marry him because I am still a virgin.

Please Mahogany, I need clarity on this issue.

Sola 23.

Dear Sola,

Thank you for reaching out to us. From the content of the message between your boyfriend and his friend, it is certain that your boyfriend has been cheating on you for two years with two other ladies. It is possible that these other ladies do not even know that you exists and he has been lying to them the same way he has been lying to you.

On the question of if he is keeping you because you are a virgin? Yes that his is purpose, you saw it in the message, and he clearly said so.

I know this must be very hard to take in, considering the fact that you honestly love your boyfriend and he has been deceiving you all this while. It is important that you pull yourself together and think of what is best for you before you make any decision.

It is also important that you confront him on your finding, and if you have already made up your mind on what decision to take, stand your ground and do not allow him manipulate you.

I wish you all the best.



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