is it wrong to masturbate while in a relationship

Dear Mahogany,

I have a question to ask. Do you think people in relationships shouldn’t masturbate. I have an active sex life and I enjoy sex with my partner but I also like masturbating. There is this connection it gives me, like my personal time with my body. My boyfriend walked in on me yesterday while I was masturbating (he has a key to my apartment) and he has been furious ever since.

He thinks I’m masturbating because he doesn’t satisfy me. I don’t know how else to tell him that our sex life is great and has nothing to do with me wanting to satisfy my wants. It is just my ME time and I intend to keep it that way but now I don’t know.


Dear A,

Thank you for reaching out. I can see that you have an active sex life with yourself and it sounds so exciting. To answer your question, masturbation doesn’t have anything to do with your relationship status. Masturbating like you said is a form of self-care and regaining that connection with your body.

Women who masturbate often regardless of their relationship status have a more fulfilling sex life. This is because they know what they want more of during sex and what they definitely need out of the picture.

Have a discussion with your partner and explain to him how you really feel masturbating. You both can explore mutual masturbation together as a couple. This will not only strengthen the bond in your relationships, it will help him understand the concept of solo play.


Partnered sex and solo play doesn’t need to be mutually exclusive. They can be complementary sexual experiences, always remember that.

Keep the action going and do not forget to live your best sex life!

Love as always,


About Author /

Lara is an erotic writer and modern day sex and relationship educator. Sensual, multifaceted and a reincarnated soul is how she describes herself. When she is not relieving her imaginations or taking vain selfies, she is on Instagram at Larasensations teaching how to own your pleasure.

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