My girlfriends said my boyfriend is doing a bad job if I need lubes.

Dear Mahogany,

You are doing a great job, I love reading your blog it has really helped my sex life. I have a question to ask you. So I noticed that sometimes during sex I dry up and it takes time for me to get wet even when I’m turned on. I used to feel there was something wrong but now I know my body has a mind of its own.

I discussed with my boyfriend and we decided to try lubes. I mentioned this to my girlfriends during our conversation and they said my boyfriend needs to do better. That he should be able to turn me on even after the sex. My girlfriends have been offering to hook me up with a better dick to help my sex life. My boyfriend is the first man I’ve been with. What if he doesn’t know how to turn me on and I do not need lubes. I love my boyfriend too. What do you think? Please I want to be anonymous


Dear A,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad you have found this blog useful, we would do more to answer all your sex questions.

To answer your question, I want to remind you that no one knows your body as much as you do- not even your boyfriend. Your girlfriends do not either and may be comparing their body with yours. Now the topic of vaginal lubrication is tricky because all bodies are not the same. But, it’s not unusual to experience dryness when aroused. You are not the first neither would you be the last.

In as much as you expect your boyfriend to turn you on, he is not responsible for your pleasure- you are. You already mentioned that even when turned on, you get dry, so it’s obvious the issue is not from the arousal. I like the fact you decided to get lubes, it’s a bold decision you should stand by. Lubes are for everyone and not just for women who experience vaginal dryness. Lubes make every sex experience pleasurable for both parties; it just makes the sex better.

Moreover, when it comes to sexual decisions involving your body your friends should not influence your decisions. Having sex with another man doesn’t guarantee anything. I advise you learn more about your body, understand what turns you on and do more of that in the bedroom with lubes.

To improve your vaginal lubrication, take your kegel exercises serious; add yoni balls for effective results. Take aphrodisiacs, use vibrators to increase blood flow before sex and add some lubes.


Don’t let anyone shame your body for what is beyond your control.

Live your best sex life!

Love as always,


About Author /

Lara is an erotic writer and modern day sex and relationship educator. Sensual, multifaceted and a reincarnated soul is how she describes herself. When she is not relieving her imaginations or taking vain selfies, she is on Instagram at Larasensations teaching how to own your pleasure.

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