Dear Mahogany, what am I bringing to a relationship?

I am a 23 years old lady, I have just completed my national youth service, but I am yet to get a job. Even though I have gone for interviews and submitted resumes to so many companies and organizations, I am still unemployed.

The issue I am facing now is that this year, I want to get into a serious committed relationship that could lead into marriage. But every guy I am interested in seem to want someone who can also contribute and bring something into the relationship. I am currently unemployed, I cannot pay for an Uber or Taxify, also I do not want any guy that would look down on me or treat me like garbage because he has money and I don’t.

The question now is, what am I going to bring into a relationship? They say sex doesn’t cut it anymore, and loyalty is questionable.

Anonymous 23.

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for reaching out to us. Concerning this issue, first I believe you have all it takes to get a man and keep a man. The only problem I see is your self-esteem. You have allowed people’s opinion on what should be, or should not be the standard to getting into a relationship cloud your judgement and self-esteem.

Whether or not you have a job, or you are a rich girl, someone who loves you would come along and cherish you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find something doing and get busy. The truth is guys like independent ladies, someone who is not going to be a liability to them.

Relationships are partnership. Most of them are based on different reasons: sex, money, emotional fulfillment. Before getting into one, ask yourself what you want out of it . When you figure this out, your subconscious will pull you towards someone who will satisfy your desires. Just remember not to rush into anything.

Concerning sex, sex is not a payment for service rendered. If you have a boyfriend, and you have sex with him, you both had sex. It’s not like he had sex with you and you didn’t. Sex should be under a mutual agreement and it should be enjoyed. Sex is not payment or compensation for being a girlfriend.




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