What to Expect after a Divorce / Breakup

Leaving a bad relationship or marriage is no small feat. We are conditioned to endure bad situations like society dishes out gold medals to the toughest and most tolerant. This social conditioning also tricks us into dreading the criticism of others and this fear keeps us paralyzed.

But the hard truth is a toxic relationship or marriage poses a clear danger to your mental health and is a lot more damaging for the people around you.

What to Expect after a Divorce / Separation

Although everyone reacts to divorce / breakups differently, there is a typical and predictable series of psychological stages some pass through. The four stages can be labeled denial, conflict, ambivalence, and acceptance.


The most typical reaction to separation is fear of abandonment. In this stage you may switch between anxiety, depression, anger, numbness, guilt and fear. However, fear is the most prevalent emotion in this stage.

This is the stage when you have to accept the reality of what is happening.


This is the stage when you battle how you feel about the separation. You may switch sporadically between feelings of relief, anger, depression, loss etc as you reminisce on the past.

This is the stage when you have to even out on your emotions


When people enter into a long term relationship, they slowly take aon a new identity that surround their partners needs and their role in the relationship. Letting go of that identity is the tough and may cause you to behave out of character and act on small impulses.

This is the stage of transitioning into a new self


When you move into this final stage, you will accept the reality of why your relationship or marriage didn’t work. You will begin to focus on your own well-being and emotional stability.

This is the stage you need to get to to be able to move on.

Trying to move on from a bad divorce or relationship? Read this: 5 Steps To Recover From a Bad Divorce or Breakup

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