Wife or Whore

Just got off the phone a few mins back.. Was talking to someone I consider special and close to my heart. Now,the story is,he asked for the link to this blog and I automatically said yes! But then I did a double take and said “no,I don’t think so”. He laughed about that for a few seconds before my refusal sunk in. Then he was surprised and den shocked at my persistent “no”.  During the rest of the call,I didn’t really think on my action but now that I’m typing this,I realize why I didn’t want him to see this blog! First of all,as dear as he is to me,he doesn’t know me well enough to understand this part of me. Secondly,he is so innocent and naive that I can’t bear to think of how totally flushed he would be! Thirdly, because I think of him in this way,a part of me wants to protect him from whatever negative effects this might have on him. And then lastly,somewhere in the remote parts of my mind,I realize that I’m just struggling to save our “friendship”(assuming that this blog could axe it to pieces that is).
   Thinking all these things made me realize one grave hurdle that people create for themselves in their relationships with others(friends,family or lovers). So many times we make so many assumptions about our image,their image,the ideal relationship/friendship,the level of hurt they can take,the right amount of love to give and their capacity to understand,forgive or accommodate us.
  In my mind,I’ve created a scenario in which I’m the director,the actor and the audience. Somehow,I’ve managed to play out every possible moves. I cannot see any other likely outcome. But then,what if I’m wrong? What if he’s not so innocent or naïve? What if I’m the naïve one? Lol. Somehow this sounds far-fetched to me but then..
   Bottom line is,we can never really gauge the emotional capabilities of anyone. The farthest we can go are assumptions and what-ifs. You can never tell the past of a person by looking at their faces. We can never really know a person until we let them in. Till we let them know us. You would never know which goddess is a whore or a wife just by watching them curtsy.

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