Dear Mahogany.

Dear Mahogany, My partner feels I got a toy because I don’t love him. How can I correct this notion? I have never experienced orgasm with him and I just discovered sex toys can make me climax.

-Phoebe

Hey sis, Thank you for writing us. I can understand how it feels trying to make another person see reasons with you without hurting their feelings.

The first thing you must understand is that, your partner may feel insecure that he is not enough for you. While some are open minded to new ideas some men feel things should remain the way they are.

Communicate

A lot of women are trapped in the web of un-pleasurable sex because rather than being sincere with their response to sex, they fake everything (moans and orgasm inclusive). If the foreplay is great let him know, if the sex is not so great say it but don’t be harsh or rude about it (remember he is your beloved partner). PS: it is best to pick a moment unrelated to sex, when you want to discuss this issue with him.

It is you, not him!

Let him know that your need for the toy has nothing to do with his performance. Let him know some people are built to require extra stimulation and that you would like to try the toy with him too. (From experience, once men try it once, they usually love the outcome and always come back for more).

Be Patient.

Your partner might not see reasons with you immediately, so it is important that you give him time to process everything. Don’t blackmail or hassle him into agreeing with you instantly. He will need time. You can take this time to explore other ways to reassure him of your feelings for him.

Introduce Games

Sex is just one of the major bonds that you share as a couple and you should have other ways of making him to assure him that you want to share your intimate moments with him.

Invest in intimate games that will improve your level of intimacy with sexy ideas that will blow his mind.

READ: These fail-proof tips will solve your boring sex life.