ABUSED

To be abused isn’t only until you have been sexually or physically abused. Emotional abuse is also applicable, and it is a silent killer. Victims of every form of abuse suffer a lot of consequences, but emotional abuse is the lead cause of depression and suicide. People who have suffered or are suffering from emotional abuse are unlikely to speak out or share their troubles with people, because they have been made to feel that they themselves are the problem. So they become very quiet in the society, always looking downcast and always trying to look for approval or get approval from the people around them, or the people that matters most to them.

Victims of emotional abuse are most times very pessimistic. They don’t really believe good things can ever happen to them. They are always dejected and frustrated about life. A lot of people in the African society grew up as victims of emotional abuse, many outgrew it, but a lot are still suffering from the scars it left with them.

Most emotional abusers are parent, guardians, teachers and the society at large. It is now a known fact, that most African parents do not know how to show love to their children. They do not understand or acknowledge the thin line between disciplining a child and abusing them emotionally. Most often they create fear in their children and believe that unless their children fear them, they cannot respect them. This is the reason for many hindered or broken relationships between children and their parents, even the mothers are no left out.

In schools, the same also applies, and sometimes, a child who is emotionally abused at home becomes timid and when he or she gets into the society, like the school for example he or she is picked on and bullied. Sometimes, the teachers are the facilitators of these treatment in schools.

Such victims grow up depressed, damaged and broken. Having a very low self-esteem, and are unable to believe in themselves. So even when such people become sexually abused or physically abused, they keep it to themselves, allowing the effect of their silence eat them up from inside, because the ones they should have turned to, were the ones that did the first damage.

It’s high time we understand that emotional abuse is real, and it is the major cause of most suicide cases. Don’t be an abuser.