19 May DISCOVERING YOUR SEXUAL ACCELERATORS AND BRAKES for a bomb sex life
‘’When I was in my second year in university, I discovered that my most active accelerator was my sexual thought. The image of hearing him moan in my head while I gave him head always drove me to want more sex with him” Tope.
When we talk about accelerators and brakes, the first thought that comes to mind is driving a car. Sex is just like driving a car, you use the accelerator when you want to go faster and the brakes to slow down your movement so you do not crash. The same thing when it comes to love making. Accelerators are the things that propel you towards wanting more sex while brakes stop you from wanting to have more sex.
Your sexual response to certain situations is a result of your sexual arousal or libido as the case may be. Sexual response begins in four stages; desire, plateau, response and excitement. Sexual desire is the propeller that makes you want sex but sexual drive is the sustenance for better /more sex.
How do you identify your sexual accelerators and brakes?
Sexual accelerators are unique to individuals. No two people are alike and it is up to you discover what makes you tick erotically. smells, sounds, visuals and touch are all examples of sexual accelerators. It may be the certain smell of a cologne or dust, listening to sounds from a favorite artiste, visuals such as an erotic book or video or even seeing your partner in a provocative pose can entice you.. A slight touch on certain parts of the body is enough to send chills down your spine. Sexual accelerators vary from persons to persons. Some of us have sensitive accelerators while others need more intensity to keep them going.
Knowing your sexual accelerators means including them in our sex lives for improved sexual pleasure.
Sexual brakes are also unique to individuals. For some persons, their sexual brakes may be pushed when the house is in a mess or for some couples when their children are close. Some sexual brakes are formed by the trauma of past sexual relationships or a negative image they have of their bodies maybe projected by themselves or a past lover. In a situation like this, words or a kind of touch from their partners is enough to push their brakes. Some sexual brakes can be prevented before lovemaking. Like arranging the house before lovemaking if messy places push your brakes, wearing a condom if the fear of pregnancy or STI pushes your brake.
However some brakes are more psychological than others. Talking to a therapist is get rid of the trauma is advised, indulging in positive talk about your body, dressing up in sexy lingerie and indulging in self-care can make you feel better about your body.
Identifying your sexual accelerators and brakes
Identifying your accelerators and brakes begin with knowing yourself and your body. Try to think of different times your sexual drive was heightened. Experiment with new fragrances, try being touched in a different place, If porn is your mojo, experiment with different styles, read erotica. Keep pushing different buttons until you find the one
WHY SHOULD YOU KNOW YOUR BRAKES AND ACCELERATORS
Understanding all of these factors is the key to discovering what works for you, what you love, what you enjoy during sex and how to communicate that to your partner. Have it in mind that your accelerators are different from that of your partner and identifying yours can help you build intimacy in your relationship and lead to a better sex life.
Now that you have done this, you can easily be true to yourself and know what you want. Do you want more sex or sex all the time? Your answers do not matter, but finding the why and knowing what rocks your boat sexually is the main discovery.
Once you discover yourself and you have a better understanding of yourself, you will have more knowledge of your sex life and better sexual confidence.
Have you discovered your sexual drive triggers? Take time to know and understand your body.
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