tips for first time painless anal sex

Anal sex has become increasingly popular in recent times with a growing fan base of increased myths over facts. Contrary to popular opinion, anal sex is one of the most pleasurable and enjoyable type of sex everyone should be having.

However, one phrase synonymous with anal sex when mentioned is “Pain”. Yes, we agree that it is all we can think about when we imagine having something as big as a penis in our tiny butt hole. Nonetheless, the anal region is rich in nerve endings that can make for a delightful experience. And when done right is as pleasurable as vaginal sex. Yes, you heard that right. With this in mind, here are some tips that can make your first time anal sex painless and as memorable as possible.

What you should know before first time anal sex

1. Communicate

Communication is the first form of lubrication you need for a pleasurable and painless anal sex experience. Exploring a new sexual area can be scary and confusing if you don’t talk about it. You don’t want to just spring it up by surprise. Give your partner the time to get used to the idea of anal play. When you both are comfortable with the topic, talk about other things that involve anal sex like the speed , depth and the tool you want to use. This is not the talking stage you want to ignore.

2. Choose a lubricant

Honestly, lubes are a must have for every type sex type but when it comes to anal you should double your purchase. Unlike your vagina the anus does not self-lubricate itself and this makes the need for lubrication indispensable. A thick substance is often recommended for anal sex because of the need for constant reapplication. You can opt for something organic and lasting, like the make me wild organic lube

3. Choose a sex Position

Choosing the right sex position is important when trying out anal sex. Since, this is a new territory you would want to opt for positions that give you as much control as possible without causing you any pain. Here are our best three recommended positions for first time anal sex.

Spooning- this position involves you lying on your side and being spooned. The doggy position comes highly recommended because it’s easiest for insertion. However the down side is that your partner would not be able to see your reaction. The girl on top position is a good option for anal sex beginners. It allows you control the angle of the pelvis and depth of insertion. In this position you can enjoy clitoral play while at it.


How to have a painless anal sex

It’s time for the main action. How do you begin anal sex?

1. Relax  your anal muscles

You need to be relaxed so you don’t tense up the anal muscles which is what can cause you pain. Relaxing and constricting the muscles in the butt hole is a way to begin. Just let your butt hole go. Although it may feel like you are about to poop, but trust me you won’t.

Another way to relax your anal muscles is through a massage. Lube up your finger or anus and massage gently. You can massage by making circles with your fingers. The anus will contract when you massage it, this is normal and the more you massage the sphincter muscle becomes more relaxed and welcoming. You can also include an anal vibrator like the Mahogany wild gal vibe because the vibrations from the toy will help relax the sphincter muscles.

2. Go slow

This is not something you should be in a hurry for. Now that your muscles are relaxed, have your partner penetrate you little by little, have them stop before they penetrate you again while you get used to the feeling. Give it as many times as it takes, you don’t have to enjoy the sensations at once since it’s your first time.

3. Include foreplay in the mix

Anal sex doesn’t take foreplay off the table, it only intensifies the pleasure. Foreplay will help you have a painless anal sex . You want to be aroused beforehand. It doesn’t have to be the beginning dish. You can begin with vaginal sex mixed with some clitoral stimulation. Most women have claimed that having orgasms before anal sex always helps.

4. Keep a check on your hygiene

I always advise women to have a shower, wipe or use an enema before anal play. Empty your bowels, wash and clean with soap and warm water at least 30 minutes before anal play. Use wipes to clean up your anal region and if you opt for an enema anal douche to clean your butt hole. Use between 1/2 hours before anal sex to help your sphincter muscles relax.


5. Use condoms

Condoms can reduce the risk and spread of an STI s that can be easily spread during anal sex. However, when using a condom, do not go from the vaginal to anal sex with the same condom in one session.

How to have a pleasurable and painless first time anal sex

Use sex toys

Sex toys are the easiest transition to having a painless anal sex experience. They provide multiple options that are fun, safe and more exciting. If you don’t find the thought of stimulating your fingers appealing, you can get started with an anal toy like the anal butt plug. You can alternate with butt beads that provide pleasurable stimulation during insertion and removal. Opting for anal vibrations can be extra stimulating for the wearer because the vibrations can relax the sphincter muscles. Not your thing? Use an anal dildo instead. Anal sex doesn’t have to be boring.

Here are the anal toys we recommend.

First things, your regular vibrator was not made for the anus. Choose toys that were made for the anus alone. Anal toys usually have a flared base for a comfortable fit that prevents the toy from shooting in. no one wants to go to the hospital with something in their intestinal tract.

When starting out, go for sizes with your partner’s butt size in mind. Opt for narrow sex toys like the size of your fingers and is narrow. Another essential is your lube, they go together. Silicone lubricants do not respond well with to silicone sex toys.

Check out the best toys for anal sex

1. Anal vibrators

An anal vibrator is a vibrating toy and is necessary for anal stimulation. The Mr. Play Dildo is a must have especially for men looking for anal stimulation. It has up to 12 vibrating speeds and is remote controlled.

The Mahogany’s wild gal anal vibe is true to its name. The vibrations from this toy will help your butt muscles relax and transition into a friction less anal experience. Make sure you stay lubricated.

The u-shape prostate massager and anal toy is a combined toy for stimulating the anus. It serves as a prostate massager for persons with a prostate. This toy can also be used as an anal toy when you are in need of some anal action.

The XOXO anal beads contain expanding beads that flow smoothly into each other. The helps you stretch your anus. Experiment the flow pattern with your partner to know how far and long you can go. This butt plug is unisex .


The shape of these toys will allow the toys fit easily. Hold the vibrator against the anus so the sphincters can get used to the vibrations. Then you insert slowly, properly lubricated.

2. Anal dildos

Just because vibrations may be too much for you, you should opt for an anal dildo. Anal dildos can span from non-vibrating butt beads to butt plugs. These toys still allow the anus stretch little by little.

Butt plugs like the Mahogany’s wild gal butt plug is a dildo to experiment with. It comes in three different sizes, has a crystal base for easy insertion and removal so it doesn’t shoot in.


Key points to remember

Now that it’s time for the main deal, you would be more relaxed and ready for sex.

  • Remember to stay well lubricated throughout anal play. Sufficient lubrication is needed.
  • Your hygiene is very important during anal sex. Don’t go from the anus to the vagina in one session without washing your penis, toy or finger first.
  • Pooping accidents can occur but they are rare.
  • Stimulate other body parts while at it for more relaxation and excitement. Use a mini vibrator or clitoral vibrator toy.

About Author /

Lara is an erotic writer and modern day sex and relationship educator. Sensual, multifaceted and a reincarnated soul is how she describes herself. When she is not relieving her imaginations or taking vain selfies, she is on Instagram at Larasensations teaching how to own your pleasure.

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