The easiest ways to have sex talk with kids

Sex talk with children can be very tricky as you may not know when to start or to which extent you can go, or the right time to bring it up. There is also the urge to wait till they ask but the truth is that they may never ask you and that means they may ask someone else which may be detrimental to their mindset.

Is it necessary?

The question of whether or not sex talk/education is necessary comes from a place of fear on whether you will educate them well or not, but it is important to let children know that sex and sexuality are important parts of life and at some point they will have to make certain decisions about sex and their sexuality and it will be your duty to adequately guide them.

Stages of talking to your kids about sex

There are several stages of talking to your children about sex, but where you start from depends on your level of communication you have with your child already.

Start by making them comfortable with you

Most times we take advantage of the sincerity in the hearts of children and we assume they will warm up to us no matter how low our relationship with them is, but that is not true. As an adult/parent, you need to make conscious effort to make your child close to you and depend on you for information more than anyone else, it is ok if they listen to their school teachers but your say and voice matters in their formative years.

Most parents have allowed too strict disciplinary measures rub the of the opportunity to bond and relate well with their children. If this is your case then it is redeemable.

Engage in fun activities with your kids

Engage in fun activities apart from watching TV together, although watching their favorite TV show with them is very good but making time for fun activities will make them more endeared to you and they will know that you value them more.

For a more direct communication, you can engage them with the ”Our Moments Card game for kids” The card game has over 100 questions that will reveal most of your child’s thoughts. By asking the questions in this game and listening carefully to the answers, you can discover your child’s deepest thoughts, wishes, aspirations and even fears. When you know your child deeply you can help him or her navigate this maze of life to the best of your ability.

Find out what they already know

Because learning at every level involves unlearning, relearning and learning afresh, it is very important that you know what they know already as well as what they have been taught so you can know where to start, what to correct and add.

Use the correct terms for everything

When talking about body parts such as penis, scrotum, testicles, vulva, vagina it is best to use the correct terms as well as the pet names they are used to calling it. By using the correct names you are first sending a signal that these parts of our bodies are healthy and OK. When your child knows the correct names for body parts, your child will be able to communicate clearly without confusing anyone about their body with you or people like doctors if they need to.

Let your child know what is accessible or not

Most sexual abuse starts from abusive adults who take advantage of the innocence of the young child. To combat this you have to let your child know the parts of their body that can’t be touched. For instance the chest, vulva, buttocks and any other place you feel should be private.

The Male and female bodies are different

Let your child know that there is an opposite sex and their bodies are different. Let them know the private parts of the other sex is to be respected and not to be tampered with just as theirs is to be respected as well.

If you don’t know, be sincere!

Children are very inquisitive! So there are chances that they may ask questions that you do not have a sure answer for, So rather than exploit their ignorance and say the wrong thing, let them know you don’t know. This will help them trust you more.

In all, maintaining a parent-child relationship requires work and effort. But by maintaining a close relationship and open communication, you can stay connected to them during all stages of their life.

Read –How to get your stubborn partner to try out new things in the bedroom