mutual masturbation

Your handy guide to mutual masturbation

The idea of solo sex is nothing new anymore. You masturbate, He masturbates you both know about this and its fine. But, have you considered doing it together?

Its solo sex, how can it be together? Mutual masturbation is masturbating in each other’s presence at the same time.  You and your partner may be at opposite sides of the room, alongside each other or even on opposite sides of the world watching. Depending on what you settle for

Getting off together at the same time can be a huge turn on for both partners, although it may appear awkward in the beginning but the benefits are wonderful.  New to mutual masturbation? We came up with a guide to walk you through every step

  1. Love solo masturbation

Before you decide to try mutual masturbation, you should have had regular practice with solo play and understand your body enough to be comfortable. If you are still rusty, check out the benefits of masturbating

2. Discuss the position

How do you want to stay with your partner? Would you prefer being side by side so you can kiss and touch each other with your spare hand. If you would prefer watching your partner from across the room, it’s cool just discuss that together also before you begin.

3. Set the boundaries

Getting off as a pair is sexy but discussing what you are working with is better. Do you prefer partner receiving instructions while watching or you just want to observe each other and listen to your moans.

4. Choose the environment

Setting the environment for sex is very exciting. Put out scented candles, use flower petals, play soft music, use alluring scents that appeal to your sense of smell and dim the lights. Choose a place where you feel comfortable and you can both relax.

5. Focus on pure self-pleasure

Make love to yourself, the way you want your lover to make love to you. You are not in any competition with anyone so don’t allow yourself treat the act like that. Don’t race to an orgasm , rather allow the sex build up.


Make sure you are in a comfortable position and breathe slowly and deeply without taking your eyes off each other. Undress while maintaining eye contact sensually and intimately. You are not in a rush; you have the whole day for yourselves. If you are communicating via the internet, make sure you position your camera in a way that captures all of your body and don’t stop maintaining eye contact too. This will help you stay focused and feel connected.

Use organic oils just like the coconut oil, I recommend massage natural oils that go deep into the skin like the jasmine and rosemary massage oil, sandalwood calming oil or glowing massage oil and lather it all over you. Give yourself an intimate and pleasurable massage with your eyes focused on each other. This will help you relax and put you in the mood to enjoy your own pleasure.


Begin with using your fingers to explore your body beginning from top to bottom. Use your breath to control your movements and help you relax. Deep your finger in your mouth and run it over your breasts, stomach and hips.  You can apply more oil as you go to keep you fully aroused.  If you are facing each other side by side, you can eye –gaze, kiss, talk dirty and moan into each other’s mouth.

Have a lube handy, you may be aroused but a lube helps with penetration.

Play around your body for as long as you want to, caress your thighs, touch your clits tease yourself before inserting your finger or sex toys.  Your finger may not be enough. Use sex toys to stimulate your major erogenous zones like the clitoris, your nipples, and your breasts. Sex toys will help you reach your hot spots faster.

If you find yourself getting close to orgasm, make sure you alert the other partner. Although the chances of reaching orgasm at the same time is slim but it doesn’t hurt to say. If you cum before your partner or vice versa, just watch them or continue touching yourself. It’s always a real turn on.



  1. It’s a form of building intimacy

Sex builds intimacy but mutual masturbation leaves you completely open and vulnerable to your partner. It builds trust and forms connection between couples. For couples in distant relationships mutual masturbation over the internet can strengthen the bond and keep them sexually connected hence building more intimacy.

2. Personal sex education

One way to know about your partners’ body and what rocks their boat is by watching them rock their own boat. You notice the part of their clitoris they like to pay more attention to, the way they prefer to finger themselves and all of that. The best education begins by watching and learning. You can see what your partner likes, you can see what they like.

3. Great way to introduce toys to the bedroom

Here, showing works better than telling. As they see you use the toy on yourself and how it makes you feel they become less critical of it. Use with some dirty lines to show them that you still need them and having them with the sex toy is an added bonus. “I want you inside of me fucking me so hard as it plays with my clit” “I want your tongue inside slurping my juice as an ice cream while I ride this dildo” It’s a win- win.


4. Pleasure is guarantee

Pleasure is sure because the both of you know exactly how to make ourselves feel good. Unlike some cases of sexual intercourse where one person may feel less satisfied. Here, each partner is responsible for their pleasure.

5. The safest sex

Solo sex is the safest when it comes to STIs because the risks of STIs are low. The exchange of bodily fluids and contact are minimal. However in cases where sex toys are shared, always use a condom to stay protected.

Mutual masturbation is healthy and is a must try for every couple.  It helps in sustaining long distance relationships and keeps the passion alive. It can also serve as an appetizer before sex or the main course.   Keep the spice in your relationship alive through communication and don’t be afraid to include sex toys to your bedroom.

Live your best sex life.

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